The One-Night-Stand That Turned into a Relationship?... Never Happened!!
It’s all too nice and comforting thinking that
you met a man, took him home slept with him (had a great time!)… and then woke
up and made you breakfast. What’s better than that? You worked it out in the
bedroom, you know that works and then you take it on from there. You bought the
car, took it for a test drive, established it works and now you are ready for
the ride… Yeah well, sorry to snap you out of that, but that never works! Chances
are, if you actually happen to wake up at the guy’s place, not only will you
not have breakfast served, but you will be rushing around trying to find your
clothes and get on your way to walk the ‘walk of shame’. Now before you say ‘what
does she know?’, let me tell you my story…
About a
week or so ago Sarah and I decided to go out for a few drinks at a club
somewhere behind Regent Street. Everything was great, the music, the cocktails,
we were dancing our heels off and having a great time… Until Ronald and Adam
showed up; two very handsome, slightly older and more than slightly drunk
gentlemen. Within an hour we had found
out that both were high school teachers (and undoubtedly very desired by 16
year olds), single and very fun to be around. Within the next hour Sarah was
dancing with Ronald and I was with Adam. (Just a small note here: I’m not the
type of girl that picks up guys in a bar. I’ve done that, years ago. I’m fed up
with that. BUT, there was something about this guy… I really liked Adam, I
enjoyed talking to him and yes, he was a great kisser. And for me to say I
liked someone from the first time I meet them… let’s just say that’s next to
impossible).
Two hours later we were in a cab with them going to Adam’s place….
After spending about two or so hours locked up in Adam’s room with him, I knew
I suddenly had a crush. I haven’t had a crush for ages. He was sweet and
attentive, responsible and yet incredibly charming. Around 5 o’clock in the
morning it was time to go home and it was around that time that he asked for my
number. By that time I knew that if he had my number I would be checking my
phone for the next week expecting a message from him and get extremely
disappointed if I didn’t receive a text. I had a choice: I could just give it
to him without a second thought and risk the disappointment or I could refuse
and write this whole day off as a great night with a nice twist. I chose
neither. I suddenly told him ‘Look, I’m not one of those type of girls that you
bring home and then ask for their phone number pretending you are going to
text, just because it’s the polite thing to do. If you actually want to text
me, then you’ll get my number’. He said ‘Give me your number, I promise I’ll
text tomorrow’. And that was it. Those were the last words he said to me… ever! He never texted of course. I knew he wouldn’t from the minute I gave him my number,
but I knew I wanted him to text so much that I would sacrifice the risk. I
spent the whole of the next day somewhere between last night’s haze and my
mind-consuming thoughts, trying to figure out why he never texted. So here are
the reasons why a one-night-stand will never turn into a relationship, or he
will never text:
1. He was drunk: this means he probably doesn’t
remember you (well that’s extreme), but at least he doesn’t remember everything
clearly. His mind was cloudy and he might have said things he didn’t mean.
2. You were drunk: Now most of us think that when we
are drunk we become more courageous and bring out the best in us… well, maybe.
But we also think we are the best dancers, the best looking people and the best
in bed. By no means am I undermining your skills and abilities in any of the
three. I believe you are probably great in all three. But, when we are drunk we
tend to overestimate our abilities in all those three departments. So at the
end of the day, even though we were more joyful and fun we probably weren’t as
great as we remember ourselves to be. And the guys don’t remember us the way we
falsely remember ourselves.
3. It’s awkward: The whole let’s get in cab and go
home, make out at the backseat, with probably a bit over the clothes action is all
too passionate and spontaneous; especially when in danger of being seen by the
cab driver, but by the time you get home, get in bed and get it over with, you
will probably have sobered up and just realized you are lying naked, next to a
stranger. Chances are you don’t even remember his name. So what do you do then?
You don’t say ‘Well that was great… whatever your name is. Now let’s hangout
and see if we are each other’s soulmate!’ NO! You get up awkwardly, while the
guy is probably having a shower or pretending to be asleep, you pull on your fancy clothes and get on your way with the walk of shame.
4. He might have been lying: I know this sucks. But did he say
he’s single, employed and with money in the bank? Well I’m sorry to break it to
you, but he might be cheating on someone, while being unemployed and probably
in debt as well. I know I’m taking it to the extremes here, but did you think about the fact that he might be
rebounding? Or he might not want to be in a relationship? He could have been
lying to get what he wanted, independently of how persuasive he was!
5. It’s a one-night-stand: I think this says it all. It’s
supposed to be a one night thing! It’s not a ‘let’s start a relationship the
wrong way round!’ It’s supposed to be passion between two people that know
nothing about each other and that’s pretty much it. It says it all. If he had
met you in a club and wanted to get to know you he would ask to take you out,
not take you to bed.
There you
have it, the top 5 reasons why a one-night-stand is not the beginning of a
relationship and will never turn into one! It’s too bad, but for all of you out
there who think that it might have been a good start, I’m sorry to break it to
you, but it’s not. If you are into the ‘one-night-stand kind of scene’ then
that’s great. Go out and enjoy yourselves. But if what you are looking for is a
relationship, then one-night-stands is nowhere near what you are looking for.
As for me
and Sarah… we learnt the hard way, but now we know. And we just added another
great experience to our list.
What did
you think? Did you have a one night stand that turned into a relationship?
Comment and let me know!! Remember to like my facebook page for the latest updates!
Love the images on this page!
ReplyDeleteI've had a one night stand that I wanted to turn into a relationship...
Guess what...
It didn't
A good friend of mine had a one night stand...he chased her afterwards...they've been together for 10 years, married for five and have a two week old baby! It's probably not the norm but it can happen
ReplyDeleteI had a one night stand that turned into a relationship. I guess you weren't such an interesting person to keep him after all....
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. I guess people don't 'click' because of a one night stand, but apparently sometimes it happens. But for most people it doesn't. Doesn't mean I wasn't interesting enough, just that I wasn't a good match for him. No need to be insulting under anonymous :)
DeleteLissa I disagree. Sex is something special. And i don't believe it takes years to know if you are physically and mentally attracted to somebody. I've only had a few one night stands and awkwardness is right. It's the whole looking desperate thing and expecting more from life that a lot women can't by pass cause a guy is great in bed. Being great in bed isn't going to get a guy a call back. So must guys don't bother calling or texting back.
ReplyDeleteI also disagree. I had a one night stand with a 20 year old man when I was only 17 and still in high school I had only been with one other guy who I had been dating for 4 years so this was not my typical behavior. I am now married to the man who was supposed to be a one night stand we have a wonderful relationship and are trying to have a child to add to our amazing life together. So sometimes it does work and sometimes it doesn't it all depends on who the people are and if they have the ability to make it work together. You can't just have chemistry in the bedroom you have to have a lot in common and you both have to make a choice to work for the relationship. At first I didn't want a relationship I had just got out of my 4 year relationship but he pursued me and waited until I was ready and when I was we were really good together and still are. So point is it can work. :)
ReplyDelete