Will he ever leave his girlfriend for you?

16:26 Unknown 30 Comments

I've been having this problem for the past year. He's been saying to me that he will leave his girlfriend but he still hasn't... I can't leave him because I love him so much, but I know that he won't leave her. Is it possible to stay with him and see where it goes even if he doesn't decide to leave her ? Or will I just get more hurt in the end than I already am?

So my Summer was ripped from under my feet due to a similar situation and it still continues off and on today. It needs to end because it isn't fair. I can see he likes/loves his girlfriend but yet he keeps running to me and I fall for it every time. He isn't a womanizer, though plenty of women have expressed interest in him, but somehow I'm the one he won't let go of and I have even told him that. I'm just ready to move on yet at the same time I've liked him for so long I guess saying goodbye to the fact that we'll never be is bittersweet. We've never had sex, just hanging out and kissing. As much as I am hoping for him to dump his girlfriend for me, I know that won't happen and I shouldn't wait around for it to happen. He has always been a good friend of mine and someone I could talk to and I know I was the same for him even before our romantic feelings got involved. Perhaps that's why we still somehow find our way back to each other. My friend told me yesterday that he is just a guy and I give him attention so naturally he likes it and he is only thinking with his dick. God it's so hard to believe that but maybe it's true. Though I don't think it's intentional, he may be using me in some way. Me, him, and his girlfriend work together which isn't good and she knows I like him, therefore she hates me which I can understand. I plan on getting a new job just to get away from it all and start fresh. Hard to get over someone when you see their face at work every week. It's time to say goodbye to my almost lover though. In the future I will find a guy who wants me to be the only woman in his life and I will wonder why I even bothered with this emotional heartache. Live and learn.

After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Olorun and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

It all started in a summer Camp, I met this guy who's a complete stranger to me, but with my first sight of him I felt so comfortable, as the days went on in the Camp (by the way we are on the same group), I often catch him looking at me, but I tried not to mind, I can also feel how he gives me all his attention (that great feeling when someone makes you feel that they are genuinely interested with everything that you say), he always makes me laugh, and I feel so secure whenever his around and I'm the type of person who doesn't get easily at ease with any guy, but with him I just feel so comfortable that I can be just myself and can say whatever I want to say, I love the certainty that I feel whenever he is around, I said to myself at that moment that he could finally be the one (I'm an NBSB), I felt at that moment that If it is for him, I can freely take the risk of finally involving myself into a relationship. Later in the Camp, while I was then chatting around with my groupmates, one of his friends teased him about his girlfriend, and upon hearing that I felt like my heart got broken, I wanna cry but I have to hold back my tears for I know that It doesn't make sense to cry over this thing, I mean it's not worth it. I tried to hold back my feelings towards him for I never wanna involve myself to any complication, but it was then overt that he's treating me way special than any other girls in the Camp, he keeps on having those meaningful glances, those mysterious smiles, his eyes meeting mine, his touch that simply lingers ... I've gone through a lot not keeping any of my attention to those things, I trained myself to be insensitive. The Camp finally ended and everyone bid their goodbyes through text and social networking sites, one day I received a text from him, we communicated a lot since then, until he confessed that he likes me, he keeps on asking me if there's anyone I like in the Camp, to be honest I like him so much but I resisted to tell him the truth for i know that he is with her, until months passed and our communication remained constant and even frequent, I got to know him better and I had fallen more deeper into him, until I got lost grip of myself and one day I exploded, I told him how I really felt but I made it clear to him that I don't wanna hurt anyone, and I made clear that I don't want him and her girlfriend to break up just because of me. He admitted that he loves me but I didn't answered back, though deep inside I'm certain that I'm inlove with him and that I'm dying to let him know. Until now we are still communicating through chats, but it is not as frequent as before, though I must admit that the way we treat each other never change, it is special yet cannot be exactly defined, I just keep on fooling myself that what we have is only friendship though in reality it means more than that, and what's worse is that I can't stop my mind from wandering into his direction everyday, I also feel disappointment whenever the thought of not having him next to me flashes, I feel pain evertime I see his pictures with his girlfriend. It is really painful and yet I truly deserve a tap on my back for holding back this long. Many of my friends say that I should try to cut our communication, but it was never part of my option for after all he was still a great friend to me, maybe he's not truly the one for me but I still believe that He's my soulmate... as they say your soulmate can be found in friendship too. Now I'm still struggling to fight and finally cast away my feelings for him, and act and feel the way that I should as his friend. I hope I can get over with all the heartaches soon... I really feel so weary and I just wanna put all this forbidden feelings to rest. :D

He has a family and im catching myself falling in love with him. Hes the first guy i been with in.over a year and i jusf connect with him even though he says he scared imma hurt him which doesn't make sense due to the fact he has the family. He even mentioned he probably leave her, i didnt mmention it. I cant pull myself to do so. I never been here and its not what i expected. I cant believe im in this situation. And even thou i keep trying to.leave i can't :-(

Read this just at the write time. Thank you! I know exactly what to do, but it doesnt make it any easier nor do I want to do it.

There was this guy that I wanted something serious with 4 years ago but from a conversation that we had I thought he just wanted to be friends with benefits. I was wrong and I switched universities and over time lost contact with him. I never stopped thinking about him and what would've been with us. Now we are both in relationships, he hasn't been dating his gf for that long and I have been in a relationship for a couple of years. (Don't want to specify sorry)

I came back to my country and my bf is living out of the country working. I'm not living with him anymore because he lives in a rented place from his job for employees only. I recently remember that guy from college and added him back on FB to talk. Next thing I know he tells me that he's coming back to my country for vacations and we started talking about old times and the conversation about why we never dated came out. We both regretted it. One thing led to the other, we spoke for the entire week and I went to his get together party with some college friends.

He took me back to my place and well, we finally spend a night together. We both thought it was great but the next day at night he called me to tell me that he felt bad for his gf and that if we were both single he would have loved being more than friends but that he cared for his gf and I also care a lot about my bf.

Now I can't shake this feeling and wonders that if he was the one and we were too late. We both agreed that we would've been a great couple and now we have more things in common than we did before. I feel like I'll still keep wondering if somewhere in the future our paths will cross again and if they do, will we finally be able to move on from what happened or if we will still care about each other. Because it has been 4 years and apparently we still cared.

I'm confused and sad. I hope you can feel better soon and be happy! I know I'll keep going forward but always hoping that our paths cross again somehow.

I am currently in a similar situation and I know he would never leave his girlfriend. I haven't felt so emotionally and sexually attracted and attached to someone in a long time. This is the first time I've ever liked a guy with a girlfriend and so strongly too. And it just so happens he expressed interest back.

I know things will never work out and I have an immense amount of guilt but also desire everytime I contact him or he contacts me. I'm honestly intending after multiple tries to move on and now. But if he comes back to me from time to time I don't know if I will cave again... this situation is my first ever with a guy that's taken and it's more hideous than depicted in dramas and movies...

I stumbled across this site doing some research and I was quite saddened by what I read in this post. I do not claim to be an expert, and I respect the autonomy we each have for our own lives. I hope that what I have to say helps or at least challenges you to think from a different perspective.

Of course, the reality is that some times we form emotional attachments to people who are not emotionally available, technically or otherwise. I do not judge that. However, what has worried me the most from your post is the lack of empowerment, responsibility and self love you portray. I have compassion for someone in a troubled relationship who does not know whether it is time to call it a day or whether this is just a rough patch. It is not an easy place to be in. However, you are placing yourself in an extremely vulnerable position that can cause significant and lasting emotional damage by lingering in this relationship. It will undoubtedly damage your ability to love and trust other future suitors.

You have asked him to end his relationship - that is perfectly legitimate and not an unreasonable or vindictive request as you misguidedly seem to believe. He now knows how you feel. You then walk away. It is hard. It hurts. You will feel a sense of grief and longing BUT if he wants to be with you he will be with you. We all deserve that. If he is confused, you staying around will not help nor is it the compassionate thing to do. Sadly, I suspect that he will not leave his girlfriend in this instance. You have not required him to do so - you are still there. If you want to feel proud of yourself, respect yourself, know that you are worthy of love then you must walk away. At the moment you are second best, a play thing and we all deserve so much more than that.

I hope this has helped.

I'm in exactly the same situation...in my heart I know he will never leave his partner as they've been together for 10 years. I've never been in this situation before and always judged girls that were involved with unavailable men...but here I am deeply connected to a man I'm so compatible with. I know I'm going to get hurt in the end but taking the first step out is the hardest part...

I have been on and off great friends and lovers with a guy for 12 years... back when we first started talking we were young and wild.. he would bring me everywhere with his friends to mall buy me things and the sex was amazing... i pushed for a relationship and he hesitated then he started to move forward for a relationship and had a car accident where he was hurt very bad and (stupid dumb insensitive young me) never went to visit... things just got distant after this... he still popped up but rarely and one day i told him i had decided to commit to someone else and this was his opportunity to stop me... he didnt... so i committed got married had a baby etc... 5 years later my husband passed away in a car accident, i had been keeping silent tabs on him all along, and i reached out, he was in a committed relationship with another woman, however he was entertaining me, he would spend birthdays with me and we would cuddle and go out places but he slowly backed away when she found out when he called 3 months later to tell me he was in love with me i screamed at him for breaking my heart again by stringing me along, and told him i was seeing someone who didnt play games and i didnt want him calling me anymore... 3 years later i get a facebook pm from hkm inviting me to his cousins bday party with him... i go and fall all over again, we go out to expensive dates and go out of town he tells me i am the woman he will marry and he wants to spend his life with me and blah blah blah but he is still with that same chick only now they have a child, he said he cant leave because she is not working and has no car right now but he is trying to get her established so he can leave i gave him jntil december (that was in march)... i am stillwaiting, i have told him im leaving because i know in my heart he is not leaving and he should work on his family but he keeps calling and comibg around, he disappears for weekends with me i hang out with his family, his mom and dad and he brings his son by me, ive spent a weekend with his son while he worked but he is still there... i would like to know what to do too

I was in the same situation up until last week seeing a guy I work with for 8 months on and off..Each time I fell for the line I'm going to call it off with the gf and one time he actually did but got back with her the following week. Everyone knows in the office. He has wined and dined me. Told me everything I wanted to hear. I also believed him and thought he was genuine until recently. I got a call from a friend and they told me a few home truths about him. I am upset but hope in a few months I will look back and think what did I see in him. What I did to draw a complete line under it for me and knowing there will be no going back is tell his gf over fb. Maybe it was out of bitterness but I know through this there is no going back for me and I can finally move on. Also I discovered he is a complete liar what would I want with a man like this in my life. I never thought I'd be the other woman some times toy can't help who you fall for but sense needs to prevail when his actions do not match his word.

You know what? You are something else. You gave all these negative reasons why the dude won’t leave his girlfriend for you except one import thing!!! You ever stop to think maybe it’s not any of the bull crap you wrote here? And just maybe the real reason is that he truly loves his girlfriend and she has his heart and he is NOT INTO YOU enough to break up what he has with her for YOU! So you’re sitting here writing all this nonsense and it’s just that! Oh its habit you say? It’s he wants it both ways? Followed by Friends? Sometimes it’s none of what you are telling these people here. It comes down to how he feels. Not every man out there wants to be pulled in different directions. So for anyone who is in a situation like this I am going to tell you like this, DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR MAN TO ANOTHER BITCH!! STAND YOUR GROUND AND KEEP YOUR MAN! STOP LOSING TO THESE whores and start winning and stick up for yourself. Some of you end up losing so much because these women pursue our men and don’t care even when our men let them know that they are involved or married it makes these whores pursue them even more just to see if they can destroy what we have worked so hard to build. Listen ladies no one is perfect. People make mistakes. And know this. The best way to deal with a situation like this is to ask GOD to help you heal you and show you. And whatever HIS will is that is what is going to be done. You will be surprised how it comes down to a maturity thing and how these dudes don’t even know why they are doing what they do or self-esteem thing. Point is at the end if you forgive your relationship is better stronger and love is fierce. Don't give up. Be the Diva's that you are do not let any woman come and take your man.

I have been having a relationship with a guy 1 year and 6 months now. And... he just broke up with he's GF (they have been dating 5 years). Now what? What do I do?
I know he needs time to clear his head... he still kissed me today, but canceled plans for the weekend...
I'm not sure if he initiated the break up or she did...and at this point we are not really talking about this subject.

How can i help him? I can see he has a hard time....

I cannot believe what I'm reading Do any of you not see that you are a willing participant in cheating.
One should have more moral fiber than to be the other women.

So heres my problem:

I kinda liked this guy but I didn't really make a move or anything cuz he was dating a sorta friend of mine. They've only been dating for like a couple months. We do flirt with each other alot and he gives me lots of compliments on my outfit or my personality (he always tells me I'm super funny and laughs at every joke I crack). Today I saw him and we chatted for a bit. Then I told him I have to go and he came forward to hug me (we always hug when we first see each other and when we're leaving). Then I asked him if he's still dating my sorta friend and he said yes. Without really thinking I said "Ugh, break up with her already and ask me out, I would say yes". He seemed kinda shocked for like half a second then started laughing and said maybe. We then went our seperate ways when he turned back and said "I'll think about it".

I'm just not sure if I should actually pursue him because I don't know if he was joking or not :(. Can you please help, maybe some strategies on what to do or if I should just leave it.

Thanks,

XOXOXO

Glad to know I'm not alone. My guy has been a friend and was on and off with his girlfriend. Long story short during their off times we took it to the next level and fell in love. Unfortunately she wouldn't take no for an answer and his guilt (according to him) led him back to her. He still expresses his feelingson for me and claims that they have to break up on their own terms otherwise he'll be with me feeling bad for hurting her. I was so hurt and upset during the whole process. I have tried to cut all ties but the love is strong it keeps me there. I know he's never going to leave her and I'm just a fool hoping he does. He is basically getting away with it. Although I don't let him see me all that much but I do give in to phone calls and texts. I wish things were different because when we were together it felt like nothing before and he was the one that consistently pursued me. His charm made it easy to fall in love. Now I'm left feeling empty...

i am exactly in the same situation..he says he is trying to leave his gf, however there is high level of uncertainty..he also says, he loves me only and that he just cares for her.they have been in a relationship for 9 years now..we sleep with each other almost daily.. ..recently he told me not to keep any hope..so now that i am almost sure, he wont be doing anything,before getting out of it i would like to inform his girl about what he did with me..i know if i do it right now, it would become a mess as he would hate me and might harm me too...can u please suggest, what i should do?..he is very confident that he will never get caught and he has told this to me repeatedly, all the more reason for me wanting to inform his girl...what if i stop doing everything with him, and just be friends with him and after a month or two, inform his girl. she stays in a different city..and we both stay in the same city and work together.i desperately want his girl friend to know what shit this guy has been creating..please help...i want this guy to realise he cant just get away with it..please kindly help..please

I never thought I'd be in this situation. I never thought I'd be the other woman. This is not who I am, it's not what defines me but it has been sickening me. I feel fucked up. Honestly, I don't know what to say or how to process all of this. I feel drained and used. And no, it's not as easy as other people who don't relate or understand make it seem, to just let him go. Him and I dated for about four months; he abruptly cut me off and went back to his ex- girlfriend. I thought I was smarter than this. After about three months, we began with contacting one another and hanging out. We agreed to try and be friends. Currently, we are lovers. He says he has feelings for me and I know that there's an emotional attachment, otherwise we wouldn't be coming to each other again and again. I think people give up too easily, I don't. I believe in him and I. I love him. I love to love. His girlfriend is the real piece of shit in this love story, she's the antagonist. I'm not a whore, I'm a great human being. FUCK ALL OF YOU WHO THINK OTHERWISE. She's like two years older than him. Me and him are the same age. Why can't she find someone her age? It's as if she's controlling him and deciding for him. He has so much potential. It's women who are fucking afraid of being alone, who are desperate, who are low in their self esteem and boring who fuck it all up. This should be made into a film. No one really sees "the other woman's" perspective/life. She's always seen as the bad, slut, whore, selfish, loser, etc person and that's not the way it always goes. I have faith they will break up and he will realize that I'm the one he loves, I'm the one who's their for him as a friend, lover and more. We're young and wild. We love love. We love sex. We love people. We love art. xoxo

This is helping me to make my own choice... I am dating a wonderful man who is everything I have ever wanted in a lover and even more than that...Here is the catch- he has another women who he "sees" I am unaware of the extent of the relationship as he advises that he gives me more attention bah blah blah... He still sees her 2-3 times a week as well as taking calls from her when I am with him.
He says that he just needs time, and does not like to be pushed...When we talk about running he gets VERY upset and asking for more time. WHAT DO I DO???? I love him but am I setting myself up? Would he choose me if I told him that I needed to know?