Becoming a Sub
When dating without
expectations you open yourself to a world of unlimited opportunities and with a bi of luck, you might end up pleasantly surprised. Working in a male-dominated
environment makes it impossible not to socialise predominantly with the
opposite sex. But once in a blue moon there are the times that socialising turns into a little
bit more than a quick drink after work on a Thursday night. Aidan and I struck
up conversation on such occasion, followed by exchanging numbers,
which quickly turned into mild flirting. By that point I thought this would
possibly turn into a fling or possibly even casual sex… but definitely nothing
prepared me for what was coming.
After a few weeks of innocent flirting which I
expected to turn into a drinks date and possibly casual sex, Aidan dropped a
bomb… he wasn’t after casual sex or after a date… he was into power play and
was looking for a submissive. After the initial shock, I was intrigued… I
wanted to find out more, if for no other reason, just to satisfy my curiosity. Looking back at it, half a year later, I still don’t know what it was that drove me to say
yes. Was I so jaded that I would try anything that came my way in search of a
spark of excitement or did I actually trust Aidan enough to give up all control
and dignity (in the bedroom)? I always liked a guy who knew how to take control
but I always thought that I would be too nervous to give it all up and be
completely vulnerable… until Aidan came my way.
By the time Aidan came to my place for the
first time, I knew that despite how nervous I felt, I wanted to let him do
anything he wanted with my body. I haven’t made a habit of giving away too many
explicit details in my posts, but it’s impossible to convey the experience
without being a little bit graphic. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when he
came over, as he had kept his cards close to his chest up until that night. But
as I saw him undoing his tie and telling me to turn and put my hands behind my
back, my heart was racing. After the first time, I was covered in sweat and
body fluids, my mascara was running down my eyes and his tie left its mark on
my wrists for days. I knew I was addicted to it – every time I looked down at
the redness around my wrists or saw the bruises he left on my body it reminded
me of how he made my blood flow faster through my veins and my heart race so fast I thought it would stop. I remembered how he pushed my boundaries to
the limit and every time it all became too much to handle he would smoothly ran
his fingers down my back and my body's reaction was immediate: my breathing returned to its regular pace and I no longer felt like my heart would stop.
And that was when I realised it… not only did
I trust this man to take advantage of my body any way he pleased, he also had
the power to calm me down and make everything go away just by touching me. In
retrospect, what startled me the most was not the experiences that Aidan introduced me, but how intense this sexual encounter was and ultimately
all the trust that was building up between the two of us – and how close we
started growing. I knew our arrangement was purely sexual, but after a while, I
couldn’t help but wonder: If I was
willing to let Aidan push my boundaries more than anyone had before, and let
myself experience fantasies I never thought I would, could I trust him
completely but manage to not fall in love with him? And could I possibly
answer that question for myself before it's too late or would only time tell?
I might not have been able to answer that
question, but I knew that opportunities like this don’t come very often and
people that you can completely trust in these scenarios are rare – so I wanted
to make the best of it and experience as much as I possibly could when I had
the chance to. So with that in mind, I stopped overthinking and over-analysing
every possible scenario – instead I opened my mind to new experiences and
decided to enjoy every minute of it…
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