The One-Night-Stand That Turned into a Relationship?... Never Happened!!

18:04 Lissa Reed 6 Comments

  It’s all too nice and comforting thinking that you met a man, took him home slept with him (had a great time!)… and then woke up and made you breakfast. What’s better than that? You worked it out in the bedroom, you know that works and then you take it on from there. You bought the car, took it for a test drive, established it works and now you are ready for the ride… Yeah well, sorry to snap you out of that, but that never works! Chances are, if you actually happen to wake up at the guy’s place, not only will you not have breakfast served, but you will be rushing around trying to find your clothes and get on your way to walk the ‘walk of shame’. Now before you say ‘what does she know?’, let me tell you my story…


  About a week or so ago Sarah and I decided to go out for a few drinks at a club somewhere behind Regent Street. Everything was great, the music, the cocktails, we were dancing our heels off and having a great time… Until Ronald and Adam showed up; two very handsome, slightly older and more than slightly drunk gentlemen.  Within an hour we had found out that both were high school teachers (and undoubtedly very desired by 16 year olds), single and very fun to be around. Within the next hour Sarah was dancing with Ronald and I was with Adam. (Just a small note here: I’m not the type of girl that picks up guys in a bar. I’ve done that, years ago. I’m fed up with that. BUT, there was something about this guy… I really liked Adam, I enjoyed talking to him and yes, he was a great kisser. And for me to say I liked someone from the first time I meet them… let’s just say that’s next to impossible). 
 Two hours later we were in a cab with them going to Adam’s place…. After spending about two or so hours locked up in Adam’s room with him, I knew I suddenly had a crush. I haven’t had a crush for ages. He was sweet and attentive, responsible and yet incredibly charming. Around 5 o’clock in the morning it was time to go home and it was around that time that he asked for my number. By that time I knew that if he had my number I would be checking my phone for the next week expecting a message from him and get extremely disappointed if I didn’t receive a text. I had a choice: I could just give it to him without a second thought and risk the disappointment or I could refuse and write this whole day off as a great night with a nice twist. I chose neither. I suddenly told him ‘Look, I’m not one of those type of girls that you bring home and then ask for their phone number pretending you are going to text, just because it’s the polite thing to do. If you actually want to text me, then you’ll get my number’. He said ‘Give me your number, I promise I’ll text tomorrow’. And that was it. Those were the last words he said to me… ever! He never texted of course. I knew he wouldn’t from the minute I gave him my number, but I knew I wanted him to text so much that I would sacrifice the risk. I spent the whole of the next day somewhere between last night’s haze and my mind-consuming thoughts, trying to figure out why he never texted. So here are the reasons why a one-night-stand will never turn into a relationship, or he will never text:

1. He was drunk: this means he probably doesn’t remember you (well that’s extreme), but at least he doesn’t remember everything clearly. His mind was cloudy and he might have said things he didn’t mean.

2. You were drunk:  Now most of us think that when we are drunk we become more courageous and bring out the best in us… well, maybe. But we also think we are the best dancers, the best looking people and the best in bed. By no means am I undermining your skills and abilities in any of the three. I believe you are probably great in all three. But, when we are drunk we tend to overestimate our abilities in all those three departments. So at the end of the day, even though we were more joyful and fun we probably weren’t as great as we remember ourselves to be. And the guys don’t remember us the way we falsely remember ourselves.

3. It’s awkward: The whole let’s get in cab and go home, make out at the backseat, with probably a bit over the clothes action is all too passionate and spontaneous; especially when in danger of being seen by the cab driver, but by the time you get home, get in bed and get it over with, you will probably have sobered up and just realized you are lying naked, next to a stranger. Chances are you don’t even remember his name. So what do you do then? You don’t say ‘Well that was great… whatever your name is. Now let’s hangout and see if we are each other’s soulmate!’ NO! You get up awkwardly, while the guy is probably having a shower or pretending to be asleep, you pull on your fancy clothes and get on your way with the walk of shame.

4. He might have been lying: I know this sucks. But did he say he’s single, employed and with money in the bank? Well I’m sorry to break it to you, but he might be cheating on someone, while being unemployed and probably in debt as well. I know I’m taking it to the extremes here, but  did you think about the fact that he might be rebounding? Or he might not want to be in a relationship? He could have been lying to get what he wanted, independently of how persuasive he was!

5. It’s a one-night-stand: I think this says it all. It’s supposed to be a one night thing! It’s not a ‘let’s start a relationship the wrong way round!’ It’s supposed to be passion between two people that know nothing about each other and that’s pretty much it. It says it all. If he had met you in a club and wanted to get to know you he would ask to take you out, not take you to bed.

There you have it, the top 5 reasons why a one-night-stand is not the beginning of a relationship and will never turn into one! It’s too bad, but for all of you out there who think that it might have been a good start, I’m sorry to break it to you, but it’s not. If you are into the ‘one-night-stand kind of scene’ then that’s great. Go out and enjoy yourselves. But if what you are looking for is a relationship, then one-night-stands is nowhere near what you are looking for.
As for me and Sarah… we learnt the hard way, but now we know. And we just added another great experience to our list.

What did you think? Did you have a one night stand that turned into a relationship? Comment and let me know!! Remember to like my facebook page for the latest updates! 

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  1. Love the images on this page!

    I've had a one night stand that I wanted to turn into a relationship...

    Guess what...

    It didn't

  2. A good friend of mine had a one night stand...he chased her afterwards...they've been together for 10 years, married for five and have a two week old baby! It's probably not the norm but it can happen

  3. I had a one night stand that turned into a relationship. I guess you weren't such an interesting person to keep him after all....

    1. Thank you for your comment. I guess people don't 'click' because of a one night stand, but apparently sometimes it happens. But for most people it doesn't. Doesn't mean I wasn't interesting enough, just that I wasn't a good match for him. No need to be insulting under anonymous :)

  4. Lissa I disagree. Sex is something special. And i don't believe it takes years to know if you are physically and mentally attracted to somebody. I've only had a few one night stands and awkwardness is right. It's the whole looking desperate thing and expecting more from life that a lot women can't by pass cause a guy is great in bed. Being great in bed isn't going to get a guy a call back. So must guys don't bother calling or texting back.

  5. I also disagree. I had a one night stand with a 20 year old man when I was only 17 and still in high school I had only been with one other guy who I had been dating for 4 years so this was not my typical behavior. I am now married to the man who was supposed to be a one night stand we have a wonderful relationship and are trying to have a child to add to our amazing life together. So sometimes it does work and sometimes it doesn't it all depends on who the people are and if they have the ability to make it work together. You can't just have chemistry in the bedroom you have to have a lot in common and you both have to make a choice to work for the relationship. At first I didn't want a relationship I had just got out of my 4 year relationship but he pursued me and waited until I was ready and when I was we were really good together and still are. So point is it can work. :)