Cuddling Time... Maybe Not?

14:08 Lissa Reed 0 Comments

 Sitting in an overly long flight with my only company the latest issue of Cosmo it would be unavoidable that my mind would wonder off and try to answer the next big dating question for me: did cuddling replace sex? I have been going over this question in my mind for probably the past month and was trying to decide how much cuddling actually means in a relationship!  To get things straight to begin with, I’m not a cuddler! And I’m not especially ‘touchy’ either. So if I just had sex with someone I will lie around in bed for a good twenty minutes or so and then if the other person is good-to-go for another round, great; otherwise, I want to get up and go about with my day – or night’s sleep, if it’s nighttime!

 I realize that when dating someone who is the touchy and ‘cuddly’ type means that I have to meet the other person somewhere in between. But how do I bring myself to actually like cuddling? Don’t get me wrong, I love having Gabriel in my bed and spending time with him, but I never understood those girls that love to fall asleep in the guy’s arms! How is that even comfortable? I’m used to be sleeping on my own, most of the time taking over a whole double bed – and I love it! I can deal with sharing the bed though, but not with not having my own space. It’s all too romantic, seeing a couple in the magazines cuddling and pretending to be asleep, but really how is that possible? The guy’s arm is probably ‘dead’ after 10 minutes of lying on it, the girl’s hair is all over his face and not to mention the extra arm that probably goes flying above the guy’s head because he simply has nowhere to put it! And personally, I can’t fall asleep if someone’s touching me. I usually kept all these to myself, because I thought I was just weird, but when I discussed it with Sandra, she found it perfectly reasonable! I recall her telling me “The guy I’m seeing now is all about cuddling. The other night he put his arms around me, wrapped his fingers in mine, crossed our hands on top of my chest and he fell asleep! How the hell do they do it?” After we laughed a lot about it she embarrassingly admitted that after a few minutes she pretended to push him away in her sleep, but truth is she was wide awake and just couldn’t take it anymore. And it’s not just that, honestly who has the time to cuddle for an hour or so? With a crazy-busy schedule like mine, I don’t have the time to lie there and hold each other for hours. I will either get some much needed sleep, or get up and get things done. No time to lie around and do nothing!

 When I ran into an old friend who is all about the romance and the cuddling I couldn’t help but ask her: is it the sex or the cuddling the makes you sleep with someone? She paused for a moment and then admitted “Now that you mention it, it’s the making out and the intimacy before and after sex that I want mostly”. And I wasn’t even surprised, knowing her, she gave me the definition of every girl’s dream, especially at this age!
 And just when you think it’s just the girls that do it…. Here I am flipping through the latest issue of Cosmo and I come across an article about guys going through a ‘dry spell’. What really caught my eye though was the number of guys that said: “I don’t miss the sex that much. It’s mostly the intimacy, lying in bed afterwards and holding each other!” Did the roles get reversed while I was busy taking over my king-size bed? Are cuddlers taking over the world now? Is this what’s considered romantic these days? Whatever happened to a good old fashioned rose-bouquet as the definition of romance? That was convenient and no one missed their sleep!  If you ask me I’d take passion over romance any time! And it’s just really hard to say this to someone and explain that you like them just the same but you just don’t want to have them all over you, all the time!

 But having said that, I have to admit that it’s beautiful knowing that when you want someone to hold you, there will be someone there for you. And that’s amazing, as long as it’s not all the time. I’d give it half an hour tops after sex and then I’ll give up. So even though cuddling is good in theory and oh-so intimate, maybe it’s not for everyone! Maybe I’ll get used to it, or maybe I’ll have to tell the other person someday that I need them to meet me somewhere in between and keep their hands to themselves for a while.

How many of you out there are ‘cuddlers’?  And can anyone explain how they sleep in someone else’s arms? Is there anyone that might agree with me? I’d love to hear your opinion on this! Comment and let me know what you think! 

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