Are We Exclusive... Yet?



Men, in general, seem to abide by an urban myth that wants us girls to be looking for a complicated relationship, full of drama because, apparently, we need the drama to make a relationship work. And up to a point I cannot contradict that! There is something beautiful that comes with the exquisite pain that comes with loving someone completely unattainable. But, in most cases that's not true. The truth is, that us girls, just like most guys (as far as I can tell) are looking for something easy going, something fun and relaxing; and for the record, when girls say that, it doesn't mean that (a) we are lying to get guys to like us and (b) that we are looking for just sex. So since this is what I am looking for, you can imagine how excited I was that I finally found it... until I wasn't so sure anymore.

The details of how I met Serge are probably irrelevant in this post, but in short, with an almost 20 year difference, I never thought he would be someone that I would like so much, but most importantly who would like me back. Long story short, getting to know him was pleasant and relaxing. I would always look forward to the next time we met and even though I wasn't sure how much I liked him when all this started, I found myself growing more and more fond of him as time went by. And that's the least of it; the best part of it all was probably the effortless communication with him. For the first time I didn't catch myself wondering whether I should text him first, what time and how often. I would just do it. And so would he. So you can imagine my enthusiasm for this fling; I didn't worry about anything; it was convenient and easy going. I was never distracted from my work or my life and he would just fit nicely into everything. With a crazy-busy daily routine like mine, he would give me the best break.

 
So if you are having a great time, who needs to label it? Let alone that it was too soon to even talk about calling it official, I didn't even care what it was. I was having a great time and there was no need to think about anything else. A quick note: I am using past tense, not because things have necessarily changed, but simply because currently, I am not too sure about the situation anymore; not like I was a week ago at least. When my friends started asking questions about where this is going, I didn't have  an answer, and it is probably one of the very few times in my life that I wasn't taking it slowly; I just kept thinking, if I'm having a great time now, why risk changing this? Admittedly though, I was the first one to ask if he was dating other women while we were dating; at the time not because I particularly cared, but because I was just curious. When he asked if I was, I told him about Patrick; a guy I used to meet just for sex from time to time and couldn't even stand him when we tried to have a conversation. 

The first time I felt that I wanted to be exclusive with Serge was about two weeks ago. Nothing had changed, I just felt that since I started to like him so much, I didn't want to date anyone else. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell Serge yet, but I told Patrick. When he texted to meet up, I told him that I was dating someone else and didn't want to see him anymore. Of course I never told Serge that, not yet anyways. I figured that if I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask him if we were exclusive yet, there was no reason to bring up the fact that I stopped seeing my fuck buddy. The first time I felt like I wanted to ask him if we were exclusive was a few days ago. I spent a pleasant afternoon at this place, and I recall myself opening my mouth a couple of times to ask him but the words just wouldn't come out. It's a miracle I would come up with some other topic of conversation on the spot and he didn't think I was some kind of retard who opened her mouth in mute. So by night time I was back home, and I still hadn't told him: I figured I better stop trying before I ran out of conversation topics and remain mute with my mouth hanging open. 

Now I realize, that was my window to say it and maybe I just missed it. After that, Serge took off for a weekend on a business trip and the effortless communication I had with him just vanished. I didn't hear from him for five days and when he finally got back to me with an obvious lie of forgetting his phone for five days in London while he was away, I wasn't sure where I was standing anymore. With my end of year exams approaching and the amount of work I need to do, another typical guy drama is the last thing I need. Of course I would never dare tell him anything about not getting in touch with me, or show him that I was pissed off; I figured since we never called it exclusive and since I don't know how he sees our dating situation, I don't have a right to complain. But now, a few days later, I can't help but wonder: Do I still want to ask him if we are exclusive because I like him or have I started feeling so insecure about this that I find the need to put a label on it for the ease of my own mind? And even worse, if I still want to ask him if we are exclusive, could it be that I just missed my chance and now I can't tell him anymore?  And how can I even dare to talk to him about it, when I can't make up my own mind?

  Most times I usually come up wit some kind of conclusion by the end of the post, but in this case I'm not so sure about anything. If this turns out to be just another typical dating failure which will make me swear off men for at least a few more months, then I'd rather find out sooner rather than later and save myself some time. But how can you even tell before it's too late? By now I know that I won't be able to find any answers to my questions until it's too late. I guess that the only thing you can do in this case is sort out your priorities, and a complicated dating life is definitely not one of mine right now. So maybe I need a time limit, say a couple of weeks or so, and if by then things are not clear for me, I'll just end it; because I might not know where I'm standing right now, but what I do know is that I am not looking for yet another complicated situation in my hands.

 What's your point of view? Do you have any suggestions for this case or have you been through any similar experiences? Did you manage to find the right time to say what's on your mind?
As A Couple, Dating 101
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Giveaway – Erotic Couple Gift Box


 Does your sex life seem to be getting a little boring lately? Have you and your partner exhausted all the possible scenarios that used to give you a sense of adventure? I have a solution for you: A box full of goodies, by DaringBox, that is just right to spice up your sex life and give you back that sense of adventure that has been missing lately. And even if it hasn’t... there’s never really a bad timing to try something new when it comes to sex! Enter the competition (below) by simply liking the company’s facebook page to earn your first entry in the competition. You can earn additional entries by following me on Twitter, commenting on the blog and/or Tweeting about the competition.




So what’s in the Box?

- A massage candle by French brand MaisonClose – a few drops of warm wax in contac with your skin (or your partner’s skin) will make you ‘melt’ with pleasure!

- A "double" lollipop – Create a bond between you two by savouring together this sween candy with a strawberry and sparkling wine flavour.

- Silky handcuffs by Bijoux Indiscrets – A multisensory experience is ahead of you!

- Erotic Challenges by Love to Love – Running out of Ideas? We have 17 kinky challenges to keep you two on the edge for quite a while. One word: Dare!

- A "Node Bra" by Happy Lola – Adorn yourself with this ribbon and offer yourself to your loved one as a token of your complete trust in him.


- A Booklet with tips on the products, a playlist, a description of the theme, special tips to enter the "Red Room"-  A small addition to long nights of pleasure... 

 To join simply provide your email or login through facebook and like the DaringBox facebook page (provided below)
For additional entries, choose one (or more) of the available options (e.g. Leave a comment on the post).


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The Non-Boyfriend



  For the past few years, I, just like most girls out there, have been thinking about the labels we put on our relationships and the guys we date (see Why do we need labels?). As much as I believe that labels are not needed to make us happy, I couldn’t bypass the opportunity of writing about this new type of label I came across last night. I mentioned my friend Javier in past posts, but this time I want to dedicate a whole article on his experiences and the new type of label he came up with, about dating.  Javier was married for almost seven years, but the past few months he’s been single. It is not my purpose to talk about this break up, but about his current dating life. As a newly-single man, Javier has jumped right back into the dating game and it wasn’t long before he met Bill. I personally have never met Bill, and I’m not interested to. But what interests me and what I find intriguing is Javier’s use of the term ‘non-boyfriend’ Bill.

   Javier and Bill met through common acquaintances one night, at a dinner. To make a long story short, they went out a couple of times and then spent a few nights together after that.  When Javier talked to me about Bill for the first time, I didn’t think it was anything serious; it was just another fling. But it wasn’t long before the fling progressed. Before I knew it, Javier would call me up and say how great a movie was that he watched with Bill and what a great restaurant he had just dinner at with Bill. It didn’t take long for me to realise that Bill is probably not just a fling that would end in a few days.  And then one day, somewhere between cooking and enjoying a good bottle of red, Javier turned to me and said “Bill is taking me to Italy for a weekend in April”.  Needless to say, by the time Javier and I discussed his decision to take up Bill on his offer for a getaway weekend together, the dinner was burnt. Javier’s point of view on this is that this is nothing more than just a weekend of good company and good sex. I recall him telling me “Even though Bill wants a boyfriend, and I’m in no place to start another relationship right now, he acknowledges this. The other day he told me ‘You are no boyfriend material’, so we are on the same page”. I wasn’t sure I understood exactly what page that was, and even though we spent half the night discussing this, by the next day I wasn’t any closer to understanding what type of relationship Javier and Bill had.


  However, while out for drinks two nights ago, Javier mentioned Bill once more and that’s where I had to ask him. When I asked what the deal was between the two of them, Javier responded by saying “He’s my non-boyfriend”. I guess the dazzled look on my face gave my confusion away, because he continued by adding: “I have feelings for him and he has feelings for me too. But we are not in a relationship. He is my boyfriend when we are together, and I am his, but when we are on our own, we are single. We go out together, have dinner, watch movies, cook, and go for drinks, but they are non-dates”. By the time he explained this to me, things were a lot clearer in my mind about the situation between them; but I wasn’t any closer to understanding how this works. I went home drunk that night, but I woke up the next morning even more confused; and this new term has been on my mind ever since.


  I get why they are not in a relationship together, and why Javier is nowhere near ready to start anything serious with anyone right now. But dating someone, and labelling them something non-existent - until now - in the dating vocabulary got me thinking whether this is a way of masking he feelings that they had developed for each other, or whether this was indeed a label that worked for both of them, a label that described exactly how they felt about each other and their situation in life.  Is labelling someone ‘non-boyfriend’, and a dating situation ‘non-dating’, a new label for ‘it’s complicated’ or is this really a new form of dating? And if this is really another form of dating, how long would it be before a ‘non-boyfriend’ is not enough and the intensity of the feelings make one of them want to call each other ‘boyfriend’... if ever? 

 A few hours later I couldn’t help but wonder about my own dating life and all the times I found myself in that situation. Wasn’t it the same every time I saw Mat, or any other guy I ever had feelings for? We couldn’t be together for one reason or the other, but at the end of the day, weren’t we ‘together’, only when we were together? There were feelings involved, but that didn’t stop us from dating other people when we went our own ways ... until the next time we met up! You can stop yourself from getting in a relationship with someone, but how can you stop yourself from feeling? And how long will it take before you can’t stand the thought of your ‘non-boyfriend’, somewhere in this city, dating someone else as a single man, just because you are not around? By midnight this was driving me crazy, so I decided to call Javier and let him know that this is a dangerous game. I knew it wouldn’t stop him, but I have been there, just like many of you, even though no one called it a ‘non-boyfriend’ before. I had to tell him that, out of experience, this may not end well, and someone will end up getting hurt... and there will be nothing ‘non’ about that! So this is what I think, and what I told him: play your games all you want, date and have fun, and call it whatever you want, but just because you change the name of the game, don’t fool yourself - you can’t change the outcome. There’s nothing wrong about getting feelings for someone, but be prepared this might not turn out the way you think it will, just because you decided it’s a ‘non’ situation. So I guess I can’t change Javier’s mind, just like my friends could never change mine, but at the end of the day, label or no label, ‘non’ or not, the game is the same, you play it, sometimes you lose and sometimes you don’t, but it has nothing to do with the name!


 What do you think? Did you ever have a ‘non-boyfriend’ or did you ever come up with another label about a dating situation you have been it? Comment and let me know. 
As A Couple
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Do We Always Want What We Can't Have?


 Maybe fate has it or maybe it’s just in our DNA, but it is a truth universally acknowledged that the minute us girls find someone that is hard to get we’ll jump into the challenge without second guessing. Most of us don’t even realize it, until it is way too late and we have once again placed ourselves in yet another complicated and potentially painful situation. I have neglected my blog for quite a while now, partly because of the huge amount of work that I have to do and partly because I didn’t know how to share what happened in the past month and what I had learnt from my experience.

 I spent Christmas at  home this year, and left London for two weeks. As much as this was a time that I was looking forward to, I knew that I would eventually have to face Mat (see Will he ever leave his girlfriend for you?).  As much as I say that I have gotten over him and as much as I moved on, no one could ever replace him and I always knew that given the chance I would go running back to him, even for one last time. I was too embarrassed to admit this even to myself, let alone publish it on my blog. But given the circumstances,  and what has happened I decided that it’s time I’m completely honest with you. I was back home for three days before I saw Mat, and even before that I was contemplating on the immense amount of emotions that would surge through me when I saw him. I wanted to be rational and say that I would be happy to see him but wise enough to not go back to him again or try to approach him... but by now we all know that what we feel is by no means rational. I couldn’t figure out if I would feel sad, happy, content or even angry. I wanted to believe that I was still angry at the way he treated me and I never wanted him anywhere near me again, but deep down I knew that I had already forgiven him and still loved him.

 And so some days passed until one day I saw him, and in the blink of an eye I forgot all my rationality, hell I even forgot how to breathe for a minute and it all came rushing back. I could feel once again all the love I had for him and all the pain. I barely talked to him that night, but I knew that I would see him again after that. And it didn’t even take long for him to contact me: by the next afternoon we had arranged a meeting later that night at his place. I knew how wrong it was after everything he has done to me, but it was beyond me to not see him again after so long of thinking about him and missing him. And maybe it was weakness, or maybe thoughtlessness, but the minute that he contacted me I knew it was what I wanted.



 When the time to see him approached I was unsettlingly calm – I was half expecting me to be panicking, thinking it over and over again and even asking my friends’ opinions. But I was too embarrassed to admit that I was going to see Mat again and the last thing that I cared about that night was my outfit, my hair or my make-up. When he opened the door to greet me it was like no day had passed by. When we had sex it was exactly like I remembered it – still the best sex of my life... but then something extremely weird happened: there was nothing left to say. None of us wanted to talk about the past year, and there was no point in doing so; we knew nothing would change. We also knew that after that night, we would probably never see each other... maybe for a long time or maybe never. This was by no means a start to something new, just a mistaken memory of the past being relived for just one night. At this point I have to ask you to excuse my slightly romantic and dazzled way of writing, but even a month later I still don’t know how to phrase everything that happened with Mat during Christmas, and this might be my slightly nostalgic and confused way of writing.  So we didn’t talk about ourselves, or how the past year was. We chatted a bit about what was going on in our lives, regarding work and the holidays. But all the while Mat was looking at me from the other end of the room, talking to me as if talking to a someone slightly more than an acquaintance and recalling how much we used to be a part of each other’s life in the past, I couldn’t help but wonder: Was I really still in love with Mat or was I just so addicted to the exquisite pain that comes with wanting someone so unavailable to you? By this point I’m still confused, we said goodbye like we were to see each other again soon, but by the time I got into my car and drove away we both knew that was a lie... and whatever we had in the past had ended. For some reason, maybe it was the year that passed by or the pain that made us grow apart, but whatever Mat and I were was finished... we had become something else, and even I couldn’t define it and I’m still not able to. I returned back to London without seeing him again and still at a state of confusion. I desperately wanted to believe that I had made the wrong decision going back to see him again after so long--- but somehow it felt that I hadn’t. A part of me was breaking inside for not being the way I was with him, but another part, a more confused one,  realised that Mat and I were not the same people anymore together.

 A week after I came back to London I went for a night out with Javier. I desperately wanted to tell him what happened and how confused I was, but I was too embarrassed to admit it. So I made an extremely  rational decision at the time: I would tell him after a couple of glasses of wine. But  the couple of glasses of wine turned into one-too many glasses and before I knew it we were in a bar with a few of his friends, which is when I met Harry. I had heard about him through Javier, but never really got to meet him. To make a long story short, I talked for a bit with Harry and found out that he was separated from his wife, with two children, not willing to commit to any other relationship at the moment and extremely frustrated with his life. In other words, the guy might as well have had a huge sign on his forehead: ‘Do Not Date Me’. So naturally, I made the most rational decision: I gave him my number when he asked for it!  I know what you are thinking, why did I do this, what I was thinking and truth is, I wasn’t! I was a bit drunk, I wanted to put whatever happened with Mat behind me and I wanted to move on. He asked me out on a date two days later, where he repeated how frustrated he was with his life, how unstable his life was and how much he didn’t want to be with anyone right now. I wanted to shut everything out, I wanted to forget about what had happened with Mat and I wanted to move on with Harry; after all how much could he mean everything he had said... twice? And did I mention he is really sexy?  I’m not sure what it is that made me decide this, but by the end of the night I had slept with him... twice. 



 I hated the idea of spending the night in someone else’s bed so around 2 o’clock in the morning I made my way home... which is where I realised it: I didn’t care how sexy Harry was, or how much I even liked him... he was just another unavailable man! He was just another yet-to-be disappointment. He was like a car-crash I was driving right into with no intention of avoiding. I wanted to move on from Mat, but I wanted to replace him with something just as excruciating and painful... Once again, I wanted what I couldn’t have! And it didn’t even surprise me... And  I’m not the only one out there. As soon as we see a guy who is unavailable to us and we develop even the slightest interest for him, the it’s like a project: we need to have him! We will freeze hell over in order to make him be with us the way we want him to, just because we can’t have him the way we want to. And coming to think about it really, it’s more masochistic than enjoyable... Unless we come to think of it as enjoyable precisely because it is masochistic. I decided I wouldn’t stick around long enough to find out. I stopped seeing Harry right then and there, and never returned his calls after that. I hope he finds what he is looking for, but he is definitely neither what I am looking for nor what I need right now in my life!

  As for Mat, I might see him again in a year or more, I might never go back to him again.... I still don’t know. But at least now I do know, that whatever Mat and I were is finished and we will never go back to the way we were... the only thing that kept me so stuck on him this whole time was my addiction to the pain that he put me through; and I still haven’t shaken that habit. But as exquisite as that pain is, I refuse to replace Mat by eventually replicating the pain he put me through with someone else. I will probably find something else, but for the time being I have to make a conscious effort to pick the guys in my life more wisely!



 What do you think? Have you ever wanted someone exactly because you couldn’t have them?  If so, how did it turn out? Comment and let me know!! 
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Dating a Single Father



This is not one of the most controversial topics when it comes to dating, and definitely not one of the most uncommon ones. But simple as it may seem, after I found myself dating men with children twice in the past 6 months, I realised that in reality, it’s a way more complex topic than we think. Just to clarify what I’m talking about: this article is about single men with children – they might have been married before or just had a long-term girlfriend, but at present they are single fathers. If you found yourself dating a single father you would have realised the baggage that comes with them and if this was your first time (and possibly had a significant age difference as well), you noticed that they are not as easy to date as men without children. So this is the story of Jeff and Ronnie, both of them single fathers.

  Jeff is 31 and father to two children, one boy and one girl, both under the age of 5. The story with Jeff is simple and plain – we started dating and about a fortnight into it I received a text saying “I don’t have time for a relationship, my kids keep me crazy busy. Is casual sex ok?” I was itching to reply “Since you put it so nicely, how could I refuse?”...that never happened! I said no it was not ok, I never indicated that was what I was looking for and he never did either. So when I said no he said ‘Ok, I will delete your number” and that was that. I didn’t put much thought into it, I just wrote him off as just another jerk. When I met Ronnie though, I had to rethink the whole ‘dating men with children’ situation.

 Ronnie is 29 and father of a boy, aged two and a half. (I just need to mention here how weird it is for me to introduce in an article a guy and his children – I guess there’s a first for everything!) I met Ronnie about two weeks ago – he is one of my friend’s housemate and when I stayed over at hers for the weekend Ronnie and I became quite close. Well more than that actually: one of the nights I was there they threw a house party and we ended up sleeping together, both a bit drunk. I was ready to write the whole thing off as a one-night-stand by the next morning, when I saw that Ronnie wanted to actually get to know me. I wasn’t sure at first , given my past single father experience, but then I started getting into him and decided to give it a go.



  The weekend went by so fast and when I returned to my fast-paced city-life I was surprised to find out that Ronnie still wanted to keep in touch and started texting me. So about ten days went by with back and forth funny and flirty texting - comfortable and easy going - when he decided to drop a bomb-question.  A couple of days ago, during a lazy afternoon, I received a text from Ronnie “ I have to ask you something: Do you see this as friends with benefits or do you like me more than that?” You know when you are dating a guy and this question keeps racing through your mind until you finally have to ask it? It didn’t even occur to me this time! I liked talking to Ronnie, I liked kissing him and sleeping with him and I liked getting to know him – but I never thought beyond that. Most girls would love to have the guy clarify the big question this early, but I just didn’t know what to say! So I simply said: “I don’t just want to be friends with benefits, I tried that and it didn’t end well (my tragic end with Mat kept ringing a bell in my mind at that point), but I don’t know yet how I see this. I might like you more than that, but I’m just getting to know you so I can’t tell yet..” And just when I thought I had escaped the uncomfortable question easily, Ronnie let it all out “I don’t want to scare you or anything, but I’m almost thirty years old and a dad. I know what I want and I’m looking to settle down. I fancy you and I enjoy getting to know you, but I get that you are in your early 20s and you need to live your life now”.  I have to admit I was anxious now, so I had to tell him the truth: I’m not ready to settle down, there are so many things I want to do with my life: I need to finish my masters, get a job, travel around, find myself... How could I know what I want now? So to make a long story short, after a conversation Ronnie and I decided that we’ll take it as it goes, and pretty much we are on the same page... for now.

 But what troubles me is not what’s going to happen with Ronnie in the future. He’s great until now and I’ll just take things as they come...  but after our conversation I couldn’t keep myself from thinking about what had happened with Jeff and comparing the two. Jeff is not just the jerk I thought he was – he’s someone that clearly knows what he wants, and he knows I wasn’t it. So he just thought he’d get the best out of our short dating-life. And it’s reasonable: they are looking to settle down; they are dads. They have huge responsibilities and priorities; the last thing they want to worry about is a troubled dating life. But even if they are the one type of guy that knows what they want, I can’t help but wondering: How can we be on the same page? If I don’t have those responsibilities, and what I want to do right now is live life to the fullest, how can a single father and I make it work? and even worse, could it be that I like the idea of a single father because of the responsibility and experience that comes with them, but deep down I know that it will never work? and if so, why do I keep dating them?



 Just like with most of my dating choices, I know why I choose them: they are a form of challenge. Something so different from me and from what I know that I have to try. Plus, I like the idea of sleeping with a man that has two different sides to him in two different situations – as weird as this sounds. And there’s another major factor that all girls should keep in mind when it comes to dating single fathers: you will always come second! And of course, it’s reasonable – their priority is their children. But just like I don’t know how to behave around children, I don’t know how to behave with a man whose life revolves around a child. Maybe I’m not cut out for this, or maybe I’m too young for it. But either way, I decided to still see Ronnie for the coming future for as long as this lasts. As long as we are on the same page, we might as well stick to it – whether this lasts a week or a month. As long as we are both having fun then there is nothing more to question right now!

 What is your opinion about dating single fathers? Would you do it or have you done it? And what did you think of it? How did it turn out? Comment and let me know!!



Dating 101, single fathers
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How To ‘Handle’ Your Man


With one of the most regularly asked dating questions being how to treat or behave towards your man when in a relationship it was unavoidable for me to write a post on the subject. Many of you might misjudge the title and ask ‘how can there be a certain way to behave with all guys’? Everyone is different right? Yes, that’s true. But in most cases, there are a few things that every girl should keep in my mind when it comes to her man. From my experience, and from my friend’s experiences, I noticed that there are some specific matters that keep coming up all the time when it comes to relationships and the ways girls behave when dealing with their men. So after making the same mistakes over and over (and over again), I finally learnt a couple of things that I’d like to share with you. So here are the ways of how to deal with your man, and a few ways to ‘handle’ him:

Don’t Hurt his Ego

Probably the most important thing you have to remember when it comes to your man. Men are, from nature, proud. Most of them are proud to the point where they won’t even come to say sorry even when they are wrong; they will simply come back to you and pretend like everything is ok when they know they are wrong in a fight. I made that mistake with Mat once and I don’t think he ever saw me again the same after that. One night, somewhere between a fight and the tears I was fighting to keep back I started shouting and telling him that he was a ‘miserable low-life’ who will never be happy because he doesn’t have the balls to go after whatever he wants from his life. I actually said that! Next thing I knew I looked up at him and he was in tears, which naturally made me cry as well and started apologising immediately. But it was too late; the damage was done. Matt never looked at me the same way again and I can’t forgive myself for that. I didn’t just hurt his ego; I killed it. I don’t think anyone ever spoke to him so bluntly and brutally before. So when it comes to this, learn from my mistake and make sure you don’t hurt your man’s ego, it’s the one thing that men are really proud about!

Understand That He Will Never Say ‘I’m sorry’

This very much relates to my previous point, but the sooner you understand this, the better! He just won’t do it. You might be having the biggest fight and he might be 100% wrong... but he will never admit it. So learn to deal with it and don’t pursue an apology. Instead, what you should do is look for those little signs that for him scream ‘I’m sorry!’ He will probably come back to you after a fight when he’s wrong and pretend that nothing is wrong. He might also put in some extra effort be a little sweeter than usually, or more attentive; he might come back with your favourite ice cream or movie and hold you all night long. So instead of expecting a ‘I’m sorry card’ with the ‘I’m sorry’ flowers, which will never arrive learn to appreciate the little signs that show you how sorry he is.

Let him do the chase

 From nature, men are predators. This is what they are supposed to do and you better let them. Don’t chase after your guy all the time, don’t take charge all the time... let him chase you. This will not only make him feel better, but he will also love you more for it. Let him miss you and let him ask you out... make him fight for it. They love a good challenge and they love the chase too.

Give him his space

This is where most women have trouble with a lot of the time. Stop bombarding him with 10 messages an hour – no you don’t have to talk every minute of every day. You don’t need to spend every waking minute together and you definitely don’t need to be sleeping at his place every night of the week. Let him do his thing, let him go out and have a guys-night-out if he wants to. If you have a fight, let him cool down – he will come back eventually when he’s ready. If you don’t do that, he will feel like he can’t breathe and eventually leave you to find his space. Maybe it helps to see it this way: being with someone doesn’t mean not having a life, it simply means making room for the other person in your own life. You both have your lives besides each other, and that needn’t change. Jut accommodate each other in your lives, don’t change them completel

Stay on good term with his friends

Just like your girlfriends’ opinions mean a lot to you, so do the opinions of his friends. So you have every reason to approach his friends and keep a good relationship with them. If you manage to get along perfectly then you have all the forces going with you. So don’t underestimate them and for your sake don’t try to make your guy distance his friends.... he will choose them over you. Encourage your man to spend time with his friends and even invite them over for a home-cooked meal while they watch their favourite football team. They will love you for it, and your guy will be proud of you. If his friends keep telling him what a ‘great girl’ he has, how can he even imagine leaving you?

 So this is a list of all the ways you can ‘handle’ your man to keep him next you longer and always stay on good terms with him. Do you have any more to add to this list or do you disagree with anything? Comment and let me know!



As A Couple
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