What is the first thing that men look at?

15:24 Lissa Reed 0 Comments

 You have to excuse my delay for this post but life has been hectic these days. With exams over and summer preparations I hardly found time to research for the material of my next post. But, I haven’t forgotten, and spent the past few days carrying out a sort of experiment for this post. As you can see from the title of the post I’m going to try and explore the issue that most women drive themselves crazy over and put the maximum effort possible to look their best, in order to get a guy…. Those women also, falsely, think that that’s all it takes! Well I’m here to prove them wrong!

   Last week I decided that I’m running out of material for my blog, so I did what I had to for some research, I decided to start dating again. I called Sandra out for a drink, put on a nice dress, pretty make up and went for a drink. I thought that going out somewhere near Liverpool Street around 6ish would probably guarantee me a date for the weekend. But when I got there and started a pleasant conversation with my friend I realized that I wasn’t very into looking for guys, I preferred to just sit and have a drink with a friend. So I said to myself “Maybe if I’m lucky someone will come and talk to me and I won’t have to get out of my way tonight to meet someone”. However after a couple of hours, it turned out to be more of a girls-night out. When Sandra had to go, I was a bit tired, but decided to stay and have another drink and maybe find someone I like for a date this weekend. That didn’t turn out so well and I kept wondering what was wrong. I had worn my nice dress, had my hair and make up nicely done, but no one would come and talk to me. I’m not saying that I’m expecting that every time I go out someone will come and talk to me, but (not to brag) I’m used to finding someone for a chat and a drink whenever I feel like it. An hour later I decided that it was game over so I dragged my tired ass home, without any material for the next post or a date! I thought to myself that it was bad luck, but I would be able to get a date probably in the next few days, so I didn’t look much into it.

  It wasn’t until two days afterwards when I was invited to a friend’s place for dinner that I realized what went wrong the night before. I was invited to Vivi’s place for home-cooked dinner and a nice movie, so thinking it was just a girls night, I put on an old pair of jeans and a shirt, no make up, hair tied back and wore my glasses, but I didn’t care; if I was going to spend the evening in I might as well be comfortable. It wasn’t until I arrived at her house that I realized that she had another two friends over; two tall, brunette guys that apparently were her flatmate’s friends. I’m not one to turn down company, so I figured the more the merrier, we could hang out and watch a movie all together. Imagine my surprise when by the end of the night one of them asked me out. I actually had to ask him if he was serious! What was he thinking? I was dressed in rugs, my hair looked as if I had just woken up and I was even wearing my glasses. Even though we had a great time hanging out that night, I had to reject the date, because he just wasn’t my type; it would be really wrong of my to lead him on. Later that night, once I got back home, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was it that someone was willing to ask me out even though I was dressed in little more than rugs? And why was it that when I was dressed up with perfect hair no one asked me out? Could it be that  the first impression men get does not come from looks?  Thinking about it now I realized there’s something much more important than looks – body language!! The night that I went out with Sandra, I was only interested in having a nice time with my girlfriend and even when she left I was not in the mood to actually flirt, so my body language was uninviting and distant. I would look in my drink, or look around bored, maybe take a quick peek at my watch from time to time. Honestly, who would approach someone that looks like that? On the other hand, the night that I spent in Vivi’s house, even though I wasn’t looking for a date I was smiling and relaxed and in wanted to be around good company; so my body language was inviting, warm and relaxed. After I spent years and years trying to look my best every time I was going on a date with someone I suddenly realized that it takes a lot less than that to impress someone!

    However, do not let my conclusion mislead you! Dressing up and looking your best is not bad at all! Most women dress up because they like it and because it boosts their confidence – that’s the reason I do it. But, when it comes to actually trying to impress someone, it’s not so much how much lipstick you have on but exactly how you are sitting when talking to him! For instance, if you have your back to him and you just turn your head sideways to talk to him then it looks as if you are not interested at all. If you are sitting exactly opposite him and facing him straight then you are making him feel like he’s about to close a business deal. The right way to face a man that you want to make an impression on or flirt with, is sit facing him, but tilt your body slightly sideways! What your body language says now: I like you enough to actually sit on only one of my ass cheeks and wake up tomorrow with back pain (well, that was mostly free style translation but you get the meaning)!

  That was just an example of how your body language can be inviting to someone and not distant or indifferent (yes I’ve done my homework on that one).           So ladies, by all means keep dressing up, styling up your hair and having the perfect make up, but when it comes to meeting someone remember that all of that wouldn’t matter if you actually don’t have the right attitude and the right body language. And of course if you do have the body language, the perfect appearance is an extra bonus for the lucky guy ;)
 I actually read into the whole body language issue when it comes to dating so feel free to comment and ask me questions about it. Also, tell me your general thoughts on the subject and don’t forget to like my facebook page! CLICK HERE for the facebook page! 
Again apologies for the late upload of this post, will try not to repeat it! J

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