No New Messages: The Awful Truth!

12:37 Lissa Reed 1 Comments


 In my very first post (The Newbie), I talked about women who wander whatever happened to the nice guy they had a couple of fun dates with… Why did he never text? Well, who hasn’t been that girl that kept her phone within reaching distance at all times, waiting for that text that never arrived?  We’ve all been there, even the ones that never admitted it. However, after going on one-too-many dates you realise that it’s not worth the trouble and the only person that the whole process upsets, it’s you! What happens when you wait for that text or phone call that more often than not, never arrives?

So you’ve been on a couple of successful dates (or so you thought!), maybe even slept with that guy and it all seems to be going well… when he suddenly stops contactunbg you! You say to yourself that he will text, he’s just too busy, he’s caught up in work, he’s tired, he’ll text tomorrow… and it just takes way too much effort and patience for you until you give up! You walk around with your phone in your hand instead of your purse, keeping it next to you even when you are working, checking it the second you come back from the toilet, just in case something changed in the past minute and a half (that is, if you don’t take it in the toilet with you!) and you just get disappointed every time you unlock your screen and find no new messages or missed phone calls. What’s worse, you jump every time you hear your phone ring, and get disappointed when you see it’s either friends or family! Sounds familiar? Let me tell you what, that was me as well until probably a year or so ago.
So what do you do next? Call up all your friends and obsess over it! Invite them over for coffee (which turns into one-too-many glasses of wine) and a movie (which of course you end up not watching because you never shut up!) and start obsessing about it all over again. And for what? So that your friends can console you with the same sad excuses you’ve been giving yourself! Because it’s a different kind of feeling when someone actually confirms the lies that you’ve been telling yourself! “He’s just too busy honey! He’s caught up in work, he will text tomorrow or by the end of the week. I’m sure you haven’t done anything wrong!”   

When is it time to learn from our mistakes? After how many failed dates do we finally admit to ourselves that there is an elephant in the room, which it’s about time we acknowledge! Here’s the awful truth about why you will see No New Messages (from him): He’s Just Not That Into You!!! It doesn’t matter how busy someone is, how tired or caught up in work, if someone wants to talk to you he’ll take 3 minutes out his crazy schedule and bother to send a text, even to say: “Hey, work is crazy today, hope your day is going well!” And that’s all it takes. If he hasn’t done that, it’s because he doesn’t want to, not because he can’t; so stop making up excuses for him! How’s that for a little dose of reality? It’s too bad that the guy you like doesn’t like you back, but suck it up and move on! By making up excuses, the only thing you are achieving is just prolonging the time that you will finally unglue your phone from your hand! Of course there’s always the choice of texting him! But for what? He will either ignore it, or reply politely (which is the right thing to do!)… but even so, does that help at all? It won’t change the way he sees you, you are just giving time and effort into something that is not worth it. 
 If you will ever be able to acknowledge the Awful Truth before it’s too late and you obsess for endless weeks about him, you need to feel content in your life. You have to recognise that your life is full as it is and it would be nice to have him in it, but you’ll be just fine without him. You might have done nothing wrong, he just lost interest. Maybe it's your fault, but that's the point of making mistakes: we learn as we go along. And it’s ok, you’ll find someone else who will appreciate you. But until then, ladies, let your phones in your handbags, nothing will change if you don’t check them for an hour and stop obsessing about him to your friends. Think how much quality time you could spend with your loved ones if you stop mumbling about the guy that got away!!
 Do you think I’m right? If not, what are the reasons that he might not be texting? Comment and let me know your thoughts!

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1 comment:

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