Are We Too Eager?

14:50 Lissa Reed 1 Comments


When you meet someone that you might potentially like, the most important thing is to leave him with a good impression of you. If we ever expect him to pick up the phone and ask us on that infamous first date, we definitely want to make a good impression, and not seem too desperate or too cold. But somehow we can never get it right (most of us at least).
  So thisis the story about the first guy I met in London that I actually liked. Thestory dates a year back, a couple of months after I moved to London; one latenight as I was going to pick up my laundry from the laundry room I bumped intothis tall, blonde, green-eyed god – I bumped into him with the laundry basket,wearing my pajamas, with crazy hair. Somehow, we started talking, and within 15minutes I had found out his name was Eric, a post-grad student at myuniversity, 26 years old. We immediately hit it off. We ended up talking forhours that night, (imagine the cold London weather at midnight, mid-November –hell I must have really liked that guy to stay outside for hours just to talkto him!). It was one of those dream-like first dates (although it wasn’t afirst date, we had just met), where you talk about everything, from music tomovies to religion to university to travelling to (yes I’m embarrassed to admitit) aliens! And we had so many things in common, it was unbelievable. And then disasterhit. Mistake no.1: when he mentioned a movie that was on at that time, I said“Let’s go next week to see it”. And I wish I had stopped there, but I kept pushingit… Mistake no.2: “What’s your facebook? I’ll add you as a friend” and ofcourse I had to make the last and biggest mistake of it all…Mistake no.3: Iasked for his number (and he reluctantly gave it to me). And if you arewondering, I could see him getting the cold feet from that moment, but that didn't stop me though!

The next day I told the story to my goodfriend Javier (Javier is one of those gay best friends that every girl wishesshe had and I got lucky enough to have him in my life), who told me to keep the“48-hour rule”, i.e. do not text him until two days have passed, and preferablywait until he texts you first. I recall him saying “You don’t want to seem toodesperate!”. Well that’s exactly what I seemed to Eric. Not wanting to stick toany stupid rule, I decided it was a great idea to text him that afternoon andmake mistake no.4… After all, I don’t meet guys that I actually like and clickwith often enough and now that I had met Eric, I wasn’t about to step back… BigMistake!! He responded… three hours later… saying he was fine, not even askingthe casual and polite “How are you?”. Well that was it, even though I tried tostart a conversation with him another couple of times after that, the situationwas hopeless. I had lost the game.
  After my experience with green-eyed Eric, Icouldn’t help but wonder: Are we really too eager? And is the ’48-hour’ rulenot just preferable, but compulsory? I’ve heard stories from many friendspushing the situation with guys too much too soon, and ending up alone, butdidn’t want to believe them.  It turnsout, many of us are so eager to go out with them, that we seem on the verge of desperation.The ‘48-hour’ rule is not, but should be compulsory – for self dignity issues.And ladies, the last (but not least) lesson I learnt from Eric, is that it ismuch preferred not to ask a guy for his phone number! If he is interested hewill definitely ask you for yours; if he’s not he might give you his phonenumber, but will definitely avoid returning your calls and replying to yourtexts. 

 I hope my experience with Eric makes somethings clear for all of you that wonder every time you meet a guy, when shouldyou text, when will he text or how long should you wait before asking for hisnumber!
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1 comment:

  1. This is so complicated, why cannot things be simple if you want to talk, text just do it... and on top of that difference in how a girl should react in comparison to the guy... Phew... wish things were simple and people took things at face value. One move that comes to mind is "He is just not into you"