First (Few) Dates Tips

18:47 Lissa Reed 0 Comments

 It is a truth universally acknowledged that every time you go on a first day, you feel like you are on a job interview. That's the way it goes: you try to learn more things about the other person, but you can't avoid asking the standard questions: where are you from? where did you live before moving here? Where did you go to university? and the list goes on. It would seem easier if we just exchanged CVs before the first dates to avoid those questions. However, those first few dates that you go with someone can be sweet, especially when you get a goodnight kiss outside your front door, after you've given the guy your best lean-in-and-kiss-me move. But in order to get there, we must be careful not to over do it with certain things and even more careful not do some other certain things. And because the articles that give just first dates tips are overestimated and can be found literally everywhere, I decided that this post should include a list of the things that we should be careful with on the first few dates that we go with someone; even after the first date has gone great!

1. Don't Dress To Impress: We all love our little black dress that leaves very little to the imagination of the guy (!); but wouldn't it better if on such occasions we let that dress buried deep at the back of our closet? As nice as your ass looks in that dress, it won't earn you any brownie points, unless what you're looking for is to get laid on that night. Those first few dates are for you to get to know each other, not to give him a preview of what he's gonna get if he's nice! Keep it simple and casual. If you overdress you'll probably intimidate him and it will seem that you are expecting much more than you will be getting!

2 Don't open the ex-files: No one wants to give a run-down of all of their failed relationships in front of a new potential one. And even though you might be dying to learn all the gory details of all his past lovers and what went wrong, you must also keep in mind that the good thing about a new relationship is that it's a clean slate. You don't need to carry all the baggage from your failed previous relationships into this one, and neither should the other person. Having said that though, it is true that a glimpse into his past love life will give you a better idea about the potential of this relationship, but try to do it at the best possible timing. Maybe the later the better though. And try not to carry out a background investigation about the other person through every social network that exists, which I know can be hard. But truth is, he will tell you everything you need to know when the time is right.

3. Don't get drunk! This advice comes from a guy: there is nothing worse than a girl who can't drink responsibly! It's a huge turn-off! Last thing you want on your first dates with someone is the undesirable but unavoidable effect of alcohol over consumption: you think you are prettier and smarter that you actually are! I know we all get that feeling of being incredibly desirable after one-too-many drinks, but it's not true! So keep your alcohol consumption to the minimum, don't mix your drinks and for fuck's sake stay away from the tequila shots!

4. Don't jump into bed with him: Trust me, I know how hard it is to want someone during your first few dates, going back home and thinking about how it would be sleeping with them, especially after you get a glimpse of his skillful foreplay techniques. But, try to resist the urge! Jumping into bed with a guy way too soon will just confuse you about where this is going, what he sees you for and what to emotionally invest in it. Just do it when the time feels right and you have things clear in your head. And if it proves to be hard, just think about this: if one hour of foreplay and harmless over-the-clothes action with him can leave you lusting for more, imagine how it would be after four or five dates of this! Just call it a 'prolonged foreplay' with a great pay off when it actually happens.

5. Be Discreet: You are just getting to know someone, you are not yet prat of his life and if you want to be, you better be discreet. Accept that he has a personal life which at the moment doesn't fully include you, so give him his space. If for example his phone rings while you are on a date with him, don't ask him who it was as soon as he hangs up! It's none of your business. Chances are he will tell you anyway, but even if he doesn't, don't be curious about it. It's the rest of his personal life calling to remind you that he has one!

6. Don't reveal too much too soon: Even though you want the other person to get to know you as well as possible (and vice versa) don't fall in the trap of revealing too much too soon. There's something irresistible about someone who is not giving it all upfront and leaves some things untold. It's also logical that you might not want to talk about your bad past experiences to someone you are just getting to know. If he happens to ask a very personal question, just avoid it politely: smile and tell him "Maybe some other time". And that solves it! You are polite, you show him that there are things you are not yet ready to reveal and you might do it later on!

7. Be yourself: There's nothing sexier and more attractive than a girl who is comfortable in her skin! Just be yourself, be honest, admit you made mistakes, laugh out loud and have a great time. No need to lie or be pretentious. He will immediately pick up on it and you will just seem sad and desperate. Just be yourself, no one can do it better than you and nothing will be ever more interesting than that!

So there you have it, the full list that will make your first few dates simply unforgettable! Do you have any more tips to add? Anything you agree or disagree with? Comment below and let me know!

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