How Much Do We Fake?

11:13 Lissa Reed 0 Comments






 In a world where a girl faking her orgasm is as natural as faking her hair colour, it is no wonder that so many women keep wondering how much of our relationships are we really faking! Personally I never questioned how much faking goes on in a relationship before hearing Shayla’s story.

  Shayla and I had been friends for a few years when she met Ricky. Both Shayla and I had a pretty busy schedule, which meant that we only rarely had time to sit and talk about her relationship. She and Ricky met last year around this time and they jumped into a relationship quite fast. I remember bringing this to her attention and her saying: “Well I feel comfortable with him, I never felt like that with anyone else”. I guess at the time that was enough for me. As long as she was happy I was happy for her and that was pretty much it. 

 Somewhere between a month into their relationship and our pile of work Shayla and I had some time to grab a coffee and talk, when she told me: ‘Sex is not that great with Ricky. I’ve  been faking my orgasms with him the first few times and now I have to keep doing it, because I did it before and if I don’t, he’ll realize that something is wrong. I can’t just tell him you are not good at it!” I was speechless, everything seemed to be going so well and then she suddenly dropped a bomb on me. I had no idea what to tell her except: ‘You know nothing’s going to change unless you talk to him about it though, right?’ I remember her saying she would talk to him about it before leaving that afternoon, but truth is she never talked to me about this again and I didn’t want to bring it up.



 What really got me thinking though was what happened a few months later. When Shayla came to talk to me about a month ago she wasn’t happy in her relationship. She seemed sceptical and confused. She told me: “He’s doesn’t do things he says he will do, he’s irresponsible and forgetful; he’s unpredictable. I tried talking to him about it months ago but nothing’s changed, so I gave up. I just pretend nothing’s wrong and that I’m happy, but really I’m not”. That's when it hit me: Faking doesn't stop at orgasms. Have we gone past faking orgasms... are we faking entire relationships now? In a world where it’s natural for women to fake as much as possible- we fake our hair colour, our cup-size, hell we’ve even faked fur! – is it possible that we can fake our emotions too? How much do we really settle for and for what reason? It is true that women all around settle for a lot less than they deserve, out of fear of dying old and alone. So many think that if they are in a relationship they might as well do the best they can to stay there because this is as good as it gets... Is it better to fake it than be alone?


 When I  couldn’t decide, I turned to Javier: “I never faked a thing in my life... let alone an orgasm! If I’m not happy where I am and I can’t change it I just leave. I know I’ll find somewhere else what I deserve”. Javier made me smile, and then I realised it: The fear of being alone is admittedly a great one among single women all over the world, but (for me at least) settling is not an option. As long as you realize that you deserve much better and you don’t settle for anything, you’ll find someone else and there will be no need to fake anything.

 So maybe we can fake our hair colour, our cup-size, fur or even orgasms (but still not advisable!), but in reality, there’s no chance we can fake our emotions! Sooner or later it will catch up on you and you’ll end up hating yourself and looking for a way to get out of the hell-hole you put yourself in. So ladies, better get out of there before it gets too late. Oh and if you are wondering, Shayla didn’t settle: she stopped faking it and broke up with Ricky. Bu I knew she wouldn’t settle, it was a matter of time before she realized it. She still loves him of course, but she’s realized that the only way to be happy is to let him go and move on with her life!

What are your views on faking? Do you fake more than orgasms? Would you settle for anything less than you deserve out of fear of being alone? Comment and let me know!


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