WHY HAVING A MISTRESS IS A BAD IDEA BY @DATINGCITYGIRL



I know just how difficult it is to be objective and let your mind guide you when your desires take over (to say the least).  Speaking from experience, I also know the thrill of indulging into the forbidden every now and then; either to break your monotonous routineor because you are not happy in your current relationship anymore – but are unwilling to end it!  The adrenaline rush that an affair gives us is something unquestionab fly intriguing and having amistress is always the best way for a man to indulge his fantasies.  That all sounds so great, but it’s about time I snapped you out of your fantasy world and into the reality by telling you why having a mistress is a bad idea!

Why Having A Mistress Is A Bad Idea

In a world where common sense is becoming less and less common, it is not surprising to see why men miss the first reason of why having a mistress is a bad idea; someone will eventually get hurt!  Most men initiate their little escapade by having an ideal scenario in their mind: “I will have some fun for some time with a girl that doesn’t want a relationship with me, keep it casual – just sex, my wife won’t find out, I will dump the girl after a while and then go back to my marriage.  Simple and effective, no one gets hurt!”  Yeah well, I hate to break it to you, but more often than not, those scenarios fall apart faster than Kim Kardashian’s first marriage!  If you leave out the most obvious shortcoming of that plan (that the wife will find out), you have to accept the possibility of emotions getting in the middle.
Want to read the rest of this post? Visit: http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2014/06/why-having-a-mistress-is-a-bad-idea/ to read my latest post on SinglesWarehouse !

Comment and let me know what you think! 
affairs, Misc, Mistress
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How Much Do We Fake?






 In a world where a girl faking her orgasm is as natural as faking her hair colour, it is no wonder that so many women keep wondering how much of our relationships are we really faking! Personally I never questioned how much faking goes on in a relationship before hearing Shayla’s story.

  Shayla and I had been friends for a few years when she met Ricky. Both Shayla and I had a pretty busy schedule, which meant that we only rarely had time to sit and talk about her relationship. She and Ricky met last year around this time and they jumped into a relationship quite fast. I remember bringing this to her attention and her saying: “Well I feel comfortable with him, I never felt like that with anyone else”. I guess at the time that was enough for me. As long as she was happy I was happy for her and that was pretty much it. 

 Somewhere between a month into their relationship and our pile of work Shayla and I had some time to grab a coffee and talk, when she told me: ‘Sex is not that great with Ricky. I’ve  been faking my orgasms with him the first few times and now I have to keep doing it, because I did it before and if I don’t, he’ll realize that something is wrong. I can’t just tell him you are not good at it!” I was speechless, everything seemed to be going so well and then she suddenly dropped a bomb on me. I had no idea what to tell her except: ‘You know nothing’s going to change unless you talk to him about it though, right?’ I remember her saying she would talk to him about it before leaving that afternoon, but truth is she never talked to me about this again and I didn’t want to bring it up.



 What really got me thinking though was what happened a few months later. When Shayla came to talk to me about a month ago she wasn’t happy in her relationship. She seemed sceptical and confused. She told me: “He’s doesn’t do things he says he will do, he’s irresponsible and forgetful; he’s unpredictable. I tried talking to him about it months ago but nothing’s changed, so I gave up. I just pretend nothing’s wrong and that I’m happy, but really I’m not”. That's when it hit me: Faking doesn't stop at orgasms. Have we gone past faking orgasms... are we faking entire relationships now? In a world where it’s natural for women to fake as much as possible- we fake our hair colour, our cup-size, hell we’ve even faked fur! – is it possible that we can fake our emotions too? How much do we really settle for and for what reason? It is true that women all around settle for a lot less than they deserve, out of fear of dying old and alone. So many think that if they are in a relationship they might as well do the best they can to stay there because this is as good as it gets... Is it better to fake it than be alone?


 When I  couldn’t decide, I turned to Javier: “I never faked a thing in my life... let alone an orgasm! If I’m not happy where I am and I can’t change it I just leave. I know I’ll find somewhere else what I deserve”. Javier made me smile, and then I realised it: The fear of being alone is admittedly a great one among single women all over the world, but (for me at least) settling is not an option. As long as you realize that you deserve much better and you don’t settle for anything, you’ll find someone else and there will be no need to fake anything.

 So maybe we can fake our hair colour, our cup-size, fur or even orgasms (but still not advisable!), but in reality, there’s no chance we can fake our emotions! Sooner or later it will catch up on you and you’ll end up hating yourself and looking for a way to get out of the hell-hole you put yourself in. So ladies, better get out of there before it gets too late. Oh and if you are wondering, Shayla didn’t settle: she stopped faking it and broke up with Ricky. Bu I knew she wouldn’t settle, it was a matter of time before she realized it. She still loves him of course, but she’s realized that the only way to be happy is to let him go and move on with her life!

What are your views on faking? Do you fake more than orgasms? Would you settle for anything less than you deserve out of fear of being alone? Comment and let me know!


As A Couple, emotions, faking,
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Why Do Men Cheat?



 I should probably begin this post by explaining why I have not been uploading any posts on my blog in the past two months. Due to the pressure of my job I had to devote my undivided attention to it, which consequently meant that my blog suffered. I have received a few emails asking if I will upload posts again and why I stopped for the past few months and I thought I should explain it on the blog as well. Having that out of the way, I also received another email recently, which brings me to the topic of this post. One of my readers sent me an email asking for advice after finding out that her husband was cheating on her. What struck me though in the email was the question that she brought up, that so many of us have thought about, but no one could come up with an answer: Why Do Men Cheat? That email got me thinking over and over again about this simple question that no one had a definite answer for. Naturally, I turned once again to my friends for their opinions and even some people that I know that have cheated on their relationships in the past. After putting together everything they told me, I realised that the answer might be even simpler than we thought! So here are the reasons that a man (or woman in some occasions) might cheat:


1. Lack of sex in current relationship: It would be a lie if we did not admit that sex is one of the primal desires of human kind. According to researches men look for sex more often than women do (allow me to doubt that a little though!). It is also true that sometimes there comes a time in relationships where sex is no longer as much a priority as it used to be; so the relationship is probably moving from the 'honey-moon' phase to a 'dry-spell' phase. It is around that time that a man will probably start looking for sex elsewhere, thinking ' If I can't get it in the relationship, I'll find somewhere else to get it from'. He will most likely not be willing to break-up with his girlfriend if he is comfortable with the way things are, but he will be more than happy to have casual sex with someone else and not feel guilty about it.


 2. They need an escape from their routine: Men are creatures of habit. They value their convenience in their everyday life and they will rarely think of changing it even if they are not a hundred percent happy with it. As long as they are comfortable they won't bother changing anything. Ironically enough, those men that are getting to bored of their daily routine -but cowardice won't allow them to do anything drastic about it - will look for a little indiscretion to indulge in, every now and then. And there is no better solution for them than cheating on their girlfriends or wives with a woman who will offer them passionate sex, whether she becomes part of their lives or she's just an one-night-stand. I remember asking Mat long ago (see Just sex... or something more? and Will he ever leave his girlfriend for you?) why he cheated on his girlfriend and the response - weird as it might be - was comparing a relationship to cooking. I wasn't sure whether he was being incredibly vain or plain honest when he told me "It's like cooking. You might cook something really nice, but you won't cook the same thing every day right?" You can tell how much impression that made on me - it's been more than 2 years and I still remember it.

3. It means nothing: As much as women hate to admit it, men value sex a lot less than women do. Both men and women excrete a hormone while having sex which make us think we are in love. However, women excrete that hormone in much higher levels than men, which makes us fall for our sexual partner a lot easier than men. Even though I hate this explanation, I can't help but accept the scientific truth behind it. So, men will just look for sex with someone else because it means absolutely nothing for them, it's just a primal desire. For them, it doesn't mean that they love their girlfriends (or wives) any less, it's just something that they like to do occasionally, something that sometimes they say: 'it's in our nature'. I think that all women agree that this is probably the word excuse that a man can give, but it is nonetheless one of the reasons that men cheat!



4. It's forbidden: Finally, this is the reasons that even I can't deny: it's appealing as hell and as wrong as cheating might be, this reason might be worth risking everything for. I guess people that can understand the thrill of something forbidden can immediately get this reason. There is something incredibly sexy in doing something you are not supposed to be doing. At times danger alone can be a turn-on. Cheating is definitely at the top of the 'NOT-to-do' List, which is precisely the reason so many men choose to do it.  When adrenaline takes over, it doesn't matter how content you are in your current relationship, you will probably give up everything just for the sake of that moment.

I guess after thinking about this question over and over again, most of us would never expect that part of the answer could be so simple. Of course by no means do I excuse cheating based on the grounds of the above reasoning. However, after getting different opinions on the topic, I had to admit that even though inexcusable, cheating can be reasoned and above all, some reasons are understandable (as bad as they may be). What else would you add on the list? Any other reason you believe that men cheat? Comment and let me know!!
affairs, As A Couple, cheating
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10 Signs He Dumped You



 You would think that the first thing that you could expect from someone you are with is honesty, however, because not all guys have  a good enough relationship with honesty (nor the balls for that matter) to tell you when they don’t want to be with you anymore, a girl needs to be clever every now and then and figure a few things out herself.  So here are the 10 Signs He Dumped You but he’s too much of a coward to tell you!


No Calls/Texts

What is a more obvious sign than stopping initiation of contact with you?  You were used to waking up with a ‘good morning’ message from him everyday, and then one day it suddenly stops without warning.  If he suddenly stops contacting you then you should start wondering if something’s wrong.

Wanna know more about the 10 Signs He Dumped You? Head over to Singles Warehouse by clicking on the link above to read my latest article and comment with what you think should go on the list!
when it's over
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The Art of Avoiding Responsibility for Your Failed Relationships


Relationships fail. It hurts and it’s awful, but it’s a hard and cold fact and there’s nothing we can do about that. However, we go through all the pain of getting over a lover after the relationship has failed; do we really have to deal with all the things that we’ve done wrong and ended up in this situation? Personally I’ve always been the kind of person to take the blame for anything; even if something was not my fault, I would always find it easier to blame it on me and try to make it right, rather than wait for the other person to apologize. But by the years I’ve learnt that it just keeps crushing me over and over again, so I learn to let go of things and realized that it was much easier to let things figure themselves out rather than keep hurting myself with taking responsibility of everything.If you want to get away with all of the things that you did wrong and probably brought your relationship to the end, keep reading to find out The Art of Avoiding Responsibility for Your Failed Relationships!

The Art of Avoiding Responsibility for Your Failed Relationships


Wanna know more about The Art of Avoiding Responsibility for Your Failed Relationships? Click on the link above to read my latest post at SinglesWarehouse!! 
when it's over
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Cuddling Time... Maybe Not?




 Sitting in an overly long flight with my only company the latest issue of Cosmo it would be unavoidable that my mind would wonder off and try to answer the next big dating question for me: did cuddling replace sex? I have been going over this question in my mind for probably the past month and was trying to decide how much cuddling actually means in a relationship!  To get things straight to begin with, I’m not a cuddler! And I’m not especially ‘touchy’ either. So if I just had sex with someone I will lie around in bed for a good twenty minutes or so and then if the other person is good-to-go for another round, great; otherwise, I want to get up and go about with my day – or night’s sleep, if it’s nighttime!

 I realize that when dating someone who is the touchy and ‘cuddly’ type means that I have to meet the other person somewhere in between. But how do I bring myself to actually like cuddling? Don’t get me wrong, I love having Gabriel in my bed and spending time with him, but I never understood those girls that love to fall asleep in the guy’s arms! How is that even comfortable? I’m used to be sleeping on my own, most of the time taking over a whole double bed – and I love it! I can deal with sharing the bed though, but not with not having my own space. It’s all too romantic, seeing a couple in the magazines cuddling and pretending to be asleep, but really how is that possible? The guy’s arm is probably ‘dead’ after 10 minutes of lying on it, the girl’s hair is all over his face and not to mention the extra arm that probably goes flying above the guy’s head because he simply has nowhere to put it! And personally, I can’t fall asleep if someone’s touching me. I usually kept all these to myself, because I thought I was just weird, but when I discussed it with Sandra, she found it perfectly reasonable! I recall her telling me “The guy I’m seeing now is all about cuddling. The other night he put his arms around me, wrapped his fingers in mine, crossed our hands on top of my chest and he fell asleep! How the hell do they do it?” After we laughed a lot about it she embarrassingly admitted that after a few minutes she pretended to push him away in her sleep, but truth is she was wide awake and just couldn’t take it anymore. And it’s not just that, honestly who has the time to cuddle for an hour or so? With a crazy-busy schedule like mine, I don’t have the time to lie there and hold each other for hours. I will either get some much needed sleep, or get up and get things done. No time to lie around and do nothing!


 When I ran into an old friend who is all about the romance and the cuddling I couldn’t help but ask her: is it the sex or the cuddling the makes you sleep with someone? She paused for a moment and then admitted “Now that you mention it, it’s the making out and the intimacy before and after sex that I want mostly”. And I wasn’t even surprised, knowing her, she gave me the definition of every girl’s dream, especially at this age!
 And just when you think it’s just the girls that do it…. Here I am flipping through the latest issue of Cosmo and I come across an article about guys going through a ‘dry spell’. What really caught my eye though was the number of guys that said: “I don’t miss the sex that much. It’s mostly the intimacy, lying in bed afterwards and holding each other!” Did the roles get reversed while I was busy taking over my king-size bed? Are cuddlers taking over the world now? Is this what’s considered romantic these days? Whatever happened to a good old fashioned rose-bouquet as the definition of romance? That was convenient and no one missed their sleep!  If you ask me I’d take passion over romance any time! And it’s just really hard to say this to someone and explain that you like them just the same but you just don’t want to have them all over you, all the time!

 But having said that, I have to admit that it’s beautiful knowing that when you want someone to hold you, there will be someone there for you. And that’s amazing, as long as it’s not all the time. I’d give it half an hour tops after sex and then I’ll give up. So even though cuddling is good in theory and oh-so intimate, maybe it’s not for everyone! Maybe I’ll get used to it, or maybe I’ll have to tell the other person someday that I need them to meet me somewhere in between and keep their hands to themselves for a while.

How many of you out there are ‘cuddlers’?  And can anyone explain how they sleep in someone else’s arms? Is there anyone that might agree with me? I’d love to hear your opinion on this! Comment and let me know what you think! 
As A Couple
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