Threesomes: three times... the pleasure or the trouble?
I once read
somewhere that a threesome is one of the most common sexual fantasies amongst
people. And it is true, that asking around you will find out that either most
people have had a threesome, or want to... at least in theory. When it comes to
me, a threesome is one of my sexual fantasies as well... but I can’t help
wondering why I turned down the opportunity to make it come true. Naturally
therefore, this story differs from my previous ones, as it doesn’t only involve
me and a guy I dated, but also his wife.
I met Aaron probably 4 months ago, during the
busiest time of my final year. He’s 37 and had just moved to London from the
States. But Aaron is married. At the time he was separated, his wife had not
moved to London and from what he told me, he had an open relationship with her
throughout their marriage. As much as I respect their choices, the only reason
I thought it was acceptable to date him, was the fact that he was separated. But, what
impressed me mostly was how patient he was with me, when I couldn’t meet up
with him and after seeing him briefly a couple of times I had to take off for a
month. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because I was sure that we would
lose touch by the time I returned to London. In my mind there was no way that
he would wait for me until I came back. So imagine my surprise when Aaron not
only waited for me to return to London, but he also kept in touch with me for
two months while I was away. Despite
having my doubts about dating him, I thought that someone that waited for so
long to see me was worth a shot.
A week after my return to London, I arranged
to see him for a quick drink somewhere between our busy schedules. I was about
to tell him that I wasn’t sure about dating him, and maybe it would be best to
just leave it, but little did I know.. He informed me that his wife had moved
to London to a new job, and they were back together, but still in an open
relationship. My first thought was that I was putting myself in a mess...
again! Really, had I not learnt anything from my experience with Mat and Nick?
You never get involved with a man who shares his feelings for you... it always
ends badly! Anyhow, thinking that I have learnt my lesson and half way through
preparing my polite refusal to date him again, he dropped a bomb: “I showed my
wife some photos of you and she wants to meet you. How about we go for a drink,
all three of us?” He showed me photos of her, to which I had to admit she was
drop dead gorgeous and then he informed
me that she was bisexual. Before I had time to process everything, he asked me
if I wanted to join them... in bed. I was shocked, but the proposal somehow
intrigued me. I always wanted to try a
threesome, it’s one of my greatest fantasies... then why the hell did I feel
like this wasn’t the right thing to do? I wanted to say yes and no at the same
time, so in order to avoid sounding like a complete psycho I said I would think
about it.
I came back home the same day feeling confused
but excited. I started discussing it with Kate, who stopped me halfway and said
“You are not seriously considering it right?” and then she walked out on me.
After contemplating it for a while, I decided it was time to call in more help.
I invited Shayla and Vivi last night and over some wine I decided to tell
them the whole story. Both of them admitted that a threesome was one of their
biggest sexual fantasies, but each one of them wanted it differently: Vivi
would prefer two guys to join her and Shayla wasn’t sure she could do it with
people she knew, so she would rather be with two people that she would never
have to face again. I on the other hand, disagreed. My ideal fantasy would be
another guy and a girl. So why was I still thinking about it? When Vivi asked
if I wanted to do it, I said ‘I don’t know’, and then she said in a serious
tone: “Don’t do it then. If you wanted to do it, you would know”.
By now I know I won’t do it. As much as the
proposal intrigues me and excites me, I decided not to jump into something I’m
not quite sure about. But if a threesome has always been on the top of my
sexual fantasies list, I can’t help but wonder... what really makes me say no?
Am I really that old-fashioned or is this something I don’t want to do with
practically two strangers? Are threesomes really that exciting for me or was I
so jaded that I wanted to do something completely different when I delayed
saying no?
After some time, I realised that a threesome
is an amazing idea in theory... but in practice, at least for me, all the right
conditions need to take place. I would never have a threesome with two
strangers. I will probably say yes, when it’s a man that I know and I trust and
have another girl join us. Or maybe it will never happen. But at least now I
know that I made the right choice. Magic might happen outside your comfort
zone, but maybe I’m not ready to jump so far away from it.
What do you think about threesomes? Ever had
one? Is it as exciting as they make it be or is it way overrated? Comment and
let me know!
